Thursday was a challenging day for me (the whole week has been)- but it was worse than usual- a day where I was so ill that many factors kept me from functioning. Nothing went how I wanted/needed. I couldn't get up from bed ect ect. I needed complete assistance to walk to the bathroom; couldn't eat because of esophageal problems-other stuff I won't go into. George was texting me from work (45 min away) asking for updates on how I was, and I could tell he was feeling a bit stressed/helpless (he took extra self-care time once he got home). As I was asking God how to support George, God reminded me that my life is not mine-and that today is not my day. It is Jesus's life and His day! Jesus died for me to have this day- even if it feels like a worthless day where all I did was lay still on my back in the dark of my room and keep falling asleep as I attempted to edit video completely unproductive and extremely unwell... Wow! That brought me so much joy. It was/is Jesus's day first and foremost! And though every day should be; we officially surrendered the day/gave the day, to God & kept repeating it. My life is not my own- and sometimes it seems (because it is like this in society) like the people who are healthy-their lives would be the valuable ones to Christ to have surrendered because maybe they have more abilities and less limitations.. But no-my life on my weak day is incredibly valuable to God and WOW there is so much Joy in that! How can I NOT smile! Praise God for loving us! Thursday reminded me that every day belongs to Christ and no matter what I can or cannot do, I am enough and worthy and loved. And I can have joy because of that.Thank you God for your mercies.
(I originally posted this blog post by complete accident, as I thought I had saved it for myself for later-which I often do. It wasn't until a friend wrote me about this post that I discovered I must've accidentally made it public. Though it was meant for myself, I am leaving it up unedited/unchanged as the message gave me new perspective that I don't want to forget and I hope all with chronic illness/pain learn. We are JUST as worthy as those who are healthy. Our value does not lie in our health or what we are able to do. We are enough, just as we are. -Kelly)