Thursday, July 17, 2014

I Won't Give Up - Dance

Our first dance at our wedding was to a song from Jim Brickman's "The Disney Songbook" featuring Wayne Brady called "Beautiful." Our second first dance, we danced a round dance which is what George grew up dancing in addition to square dancing. A round dance is a cued and choreographed ballroom dance. George's mom gave to us the gift of a choreographed round dance which she cued live at our wedding. Our round dance to the grammy winning song, "Could I Have This Dance" by Anne Murray is something that we still waltz around the house signing and dancing to. Most certainly, dancing is a natural "high" for me.

George braved Friday Chicago traffic. 
When I discovered that Emmy winning choreographer Derek Hough and his sister Julianne Hough who both have been pro dancers on the television show "Dancing With The Stars" were going on tour: Move Live On Tour, I was thrilled. Last Friday night, with excitement, George and I went on an adventure to downtown Chicago to the dance concert despite the multiple health issues that were making us question if I would make it to or through it.

George commented if the average person was experiencing just one of the health issues I'm navigating, they would not have gone. But I can't consider that. This is my life. I push though as much as my body will allow. Frequently the thought in the chronic illness community (especially from professionals) is: do not push past your limits; do not over-do it. We should heed the warning because our bodies will rebel.

But I disregard the warning and yes, my body rebels, but it is so worth it. I NEED to push farther than I can so that I can LIVE and have JOY. I won't give up!  Going to a concert or musical is challenging, but this year we committed to doing it.  I am over the frustration that comes with needing a wheelchair to transport. It is a tool I use to get me to where I want to be. I don't have the stamina, my body is weak, my fibro was flaring, vertigo was affecting my ability to know where I am in space, my IBS was threatening via cramping unwanted trips to the bathroom, the weather was triggering a Migraine and the sensitivity that I have to sound was amping up the severity of my NDPH.

BUT, none of it mattered. Move Live on Tour was a most treasured time. Tears streamed down my face as I watched dance after dance, style after style. I grinned the whole time, cheered and whooped and clapped. The tour is interactive and periodically the audience got up and danced. Still seated with everyone grooving around me, I was engulfed in an extraordinary spirit of enthusiasm for living in that blissful moment. I don't know the last time, I thought to myself "I don't want this to stop." I feel so inadequate in finding the words to describe how dance affects me.

My body crashed midway through the second act, but we stayed. Afterward, in our twelveth floor hotel room, we chatted animatedly about the night. We were interrupted by a screaming crowd. Apparently our hotel abuts The Chicago Theater's back stage door with the Elevated train separating the two. A perfect view of flash bulbs (can I still call them that?) going off in rapid fire. Derek and Julianne were taking photos and selfies and signing just outside our hotel window.

Flash forward to Wednesday night (last night), we were watching "So You Think You Can Dance". One dance in particular choreographed by Lacey Schwimmer moved me to tears. After we watched it a few times --thank you DVR-- George stood up, lifted his arms and opened his stance as an invitation to dance with him. I was delighted. We got in a few steps and two turns until vertigo kicked in and I sunk to the floor because I did not know where I was in space. But those moments of George guiding me around the room were so worth the vertigo. I won't give up dancing or my love of it.

Find something you love and do not let life keep you from living it out- even if in small ways. Watching the dances online again today got my heart racing: especially this one called "I Won't Give Up" performed by Ricky and Valerie. Don't miss out-watch it.

Dance is my happy thought today. What is yours?

1 comment:

  1. What is my happy thought? Knowing that YOU are happy, my dear! However, this blog entry reminds me of the ballroom dance workshop that you and Beth hosted when you competed in college. Unfortunately, I do not remember moving with grace or poise as you two did; I just remember making my partner's wrist sore------the awkwardness makes me chuckle now. <3