Sunday, August 19, 2012


The truth is that I am really unwell emotionally.

There are plenty of reasons for this and most I do not feel like sharing.

Depression and anxiety/panic attacks have come to dominate my life these last few weeks.

George and I watched one of our favorite dance shows, So You Think You Can Dance tonight on our DVR. The dances were reincarnations of Emmy winning choreographer Mia Michaels' SYTYCD choreographed dances.

Dancing is a part of my soul. I danced growing up; I competed as a ballroom dancer for Purdue's team as an undergraduate; George and I danced a special dance at our wedding.

I feel free to be me. I may not be the most talented dancer, but it does not matter.

Dance is a language of my soul.  And when I see a dance that speaks to my soul in a way that mesmerizes me....makes me want to watch it over and over again, I know it is because it is how I feel.

As music can sometimes express your emotions in a way you may not have been able to do yourself or even simply speak what you have not been able to say yourself, dance is that for me. It communicates what I feel in a way I have not been able to.

I saw a piece on So You Think You Can Dance choreographed by Mia Michaels to the song "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles and danced by Lindsay and Cole. (Sorry I don't know their last names.) The story of the piece is "addiction" but when I saw it all I could see was myself as the female dancer and depression/anxiety as the male dancer.

Depression and anxiety disorder are acting like gravity on my life right now. But it does not have the last word.

Please watch the video below.

If you are viewing this via email, please find the link to the video HERE


  1. Very expressive. But in the end she broke free, I hope the same can happen for you..soon.

    I too have fought the depression/anxiety monster a lot this year. I think I'm climbing out of the hole, with a lot of work. then something happens to drop me down again.
    But I'm determined. I have to find better ways to deal with certain things...I think that will help me a lot.

    I've been thinking of you. Was about to check on you, and there in my inbox was a post from you.

    good luck my friend.

    1. A lot of life changing things have I've not been good about keeping up. Sorry I have not been too communicative dear Wendy. I've read a few of your posts and happy you got the cochlear implant. Maybe we can catch up via email sometime soon on how your Meniere's, Migraines and cochlear implant is going. I'm a speech language pathologist, so I'm really interested in how the CI is working for you.
      Hugs my friend!

  2. Wow! So very powerful. Thanks for sharing. I love you, my dear friend.

  3. Replies
    1. Love you too and miss you, Ladybug! Would love an update!