Step back. Cool down. Take a deep breath. Now take another.
Hurting people hurt people. It is true. We often don't mean to but we still do. In October 2011, I shared about when George did something to upset me and I unleashed my hurt upon him. I encourage you to read it even if you've read it before Yesterday, I lost my temper.
If you are hurting for whatever reason:
someone was unjustly cruel to you
you've been abused in some way
you feel lost
you are lonely
you have been abandoned
you have been betrayed
something complicated that you can't explain
for a reason you don't know,
(fill in the blank) ,
or all of the above combined:
First of all let me send you some compassion for enduring your hurt. Next, I think it is important when we are hurting that we remember to take a breath before we talk, phone, write, text, IM, email, tweet, message or communicate period.
We need to be aware of and take responsibility for:
Hurt People hurt people.
- Hurt magnifies and fogs everything at the same time. We do not see as clearly. We do not think as clearly.
- Our hurt may lead us to ramp up the defense and put us on the offense.
- Our hurt might lead us to lash out.
- Our hurt may lead us to give up and shut down.
- Our hurt makes us susceptible compare by saying "I have it better/worse off than s/he does"
- Our hurt might make us feel like yelling, "If only they knew ____!"
- Our hurt may lead us to ask "Why don't they/do they _____?"
- Our hurt (fill in the blank) .
We are a global community, national community, health community, friendship community, family community all of hurt people.
I am a hurt person. You are a hurt person. We may not often or always feel it or show it, but we all have had hurt at some point in our lives.
Being aware and taking responsibility for our hurts is the first step in not hurting someone else. Choosing to have compassion for others is another step. Today I was hurt by a hurting person. I am betting so were some of you. (((Gentle hugs.)))
I am going to conclude this post the same way I concluded Yesterday, I lost my temper by saying,
So many people bail when times get tough. Let's not hurt the ones that stick around.I do not like writing posts that "label" people one way. My belief is that we have many facets to us and in this post I write about just one of those facets: hurt.