Thursday, November 3, 2011

Dear 18 Year Old Kelly,

I know at 18 you would love to get a letter from your almost 32 year old self and see a bit of the blueprint of the next 14 years. You are so anxious to fly through college and to marry the boy you are dating. Time seems to be your enemy.

Celebrating my 18th Birthday at Purdue
Mom always says "The joy is in the journey." Yes, her mom-ism has grown on me. Try not to wish the time you have away. Things change so slowly that you don't notice it. And sometimes they change so fast that all of the sudden what you think you have is gone. Kinda like how Grandpa just passed away? Remember how you were walking in his house among all his things, expecting to hear his voice and feel his presence in the room, but he really wasn't there? It had all changed so quickly.

All you really have is today. If are you absorbed with what tomorrow may be like (i.e marriage), you will miss what is right in front of you. Appreciate what you have. I'll let you figure out what that is.

Your future husband told me to tell you to be patient. *smile* He should know about that; he waited a while for you.

Keep being driven and determined as those qualities will serve you well on the road ahead.

In reading your journal writings, I see how much you want to deepen your relationship with God. I see that you are seeking His will and purpose in your life. Keep praying and reading and asking questions.

You have a great sense of discernment. Trust your gut. It is your most treasured guide on your journey. When you sense something is "off" in a situation, follow that sense. And please listen to your body.

Kelly, you push yourself so hard. I know you feel pressure to live up to expectations of being the best person you can be. But it is okay to take care of yourself. Somehow you have translated these expectations into expectations of perfection. It is okay to make mistakes, to veer off course, to fail, and to disappoint those you love. Mistakes are a part of life.  Attempting to be perfect will only lead you to depression and anxiety.

Finally, you are enough just as you are. You do not need to try to be a superwoman. Just be you. And when you are yourself, you will be more content and more ready for what God has in store for you.

Love you,

P.S. Keep Dancing!

Ballroom Dancing Competion 1998
-This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days:

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