Wednesday, October 26, 2011

2190 Days of Headache; 2201 Days of Sweetness

Six years ago today, my life changed. My life had also changed six years and eleven days ago.

As of today, I have had a constant headache for two-thousand one hundred and ninety days. Diagnosis of New Daily Persistent Headache means I can remember the date my headache started. I remember October 26, 2005. It also was the date of my first Migraine attack which turned into Chronic Migraine as I had a constant daily Migraine. As I described in a previous post, Scariest Migraine Attack Ever: What I Didn't Know, the mishandling of treatment and diagnosis of that first Migraine attack was a nail in my neurological coffin.

Yep, six years ago was a changing day in my life, but six years and eleven days ago was even better!

Saturday, October 15, 2005, George proposed and I said yes. It happened to be "Sweetest Day" a silly Hallmark holiday in this part of the country that I don't recognize or understand. But that day was pretty sweet!

Saturday morning, George picked me up at my apartment and we went to our favorite breakfast place for brunch. We must've been really glowing because the waitress commented on how obviously in love we were. Little did she know, we would remember what she said because it was ironic that it would be on the day George proposed.

I had helped George pick out my engagement ring a couple weeks before though I walked away when he paid for it so I would not know when it would be ready after it had been sized or when he'd propose. My engagement ring is a ring with three diamonds and detailing on the side that has special significance to us. "You, me and Jesus." When we're going through an exceptionally difficult time (which is often), George picks up my left hand, pointing to each diamond he says, "you, me and Jesus are going to get through this." Jesus being the one that is holding us together.

After brunch we went for a walk because it was a beautiful day with the leaves changing colors down a path that was special to us. We passed up the wooden bench under a willow tree where he'd first kissed me and where I had always thought he'd propose. But we kept walking and walking and the sidewalk was covered with goose droppings. George made a game out of it and we jumped around the goose poop laughing. And then we came to the end of the trail in a clearing where he stopped me with a squeeze of the hand and got down on one knee.

Remembering that moment, I can see in my mind how beautiful a day it was with blue skies and rustling trees of different shades, the sun was truly shining and I remember him picking me up and spinning me around in happiness. Of course we had to come back through the goose poop as it was the only way. We danced through it, back to my apartment where we told Knightley and called my parents and George's. My head was in the clouds and it stayed there for eleven days.

 Then the goose poop hit the fan. But George did not leave. He could have. and I remember when I was trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told the store attendant that "most men would've left." My mom and dad were by my side on the two hospital stays before our wedding in July of 2006 and she saw George lovingly care for and tend to me.

We have had to walk through a lot of goose poop together, and even though today makes me remember the day all this started, I am choosing to focus on and be thankful for the fact that George has been by my side the whole time.


  1. Wow, how lucky you both are: George for finding a woman with the biggest, sweetest heart in the world. You, my dear, have found your knight in shining armor who's always willing to wade through the goose poop with you. <3 I love you!

  2. Look, your days of Sweetness our number your days of Headache. I know many of them overlap, but isn't it a joy that we have such dedicated, loving, and simply wonderful husbands?
    I too felt like my home was a cage, no matter how wonderful the cage was, it was still a cage...a prison that I was bound to.

    I hate that you feel that way about your bedroom, for me, it is a sanctuary, where I can get away from noise (my hearing making everything distorted, makes a TV torture.) I can hide in my bedroom, of course, Stuart is welcome. I'm comfortable there. It used to not be that way, but since I started drawing again, I can lie in bed and escape in my art.
    I hope there is a way that you can find a way to make your bedroom more welcoming. More, a place you may need to hide, and be bound to, but that you can feel that it is nurturing to you, a place that helps you through the roughest times. I just realized that's how I feel about our bedroom. It's a place where I can go when I hurt the worst, and it holds me, comforts me, and makes me feel better because I know it is a place that helps. Oh, I'm not making much sense. I hope you can get something out of it.

    I have had a headache for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it's much more intense, and sometimes if I'm asked if I have a headache, I say, no, after all, it's just the constant nagging headache I always have...not something I can't deal with. Then I have times like this morning, when my headache was so bad I couldn't say my words right. Stuart asked me questions and I just stared at him like he was speaking in a foreign language.
    That's the times I feel helpless.

    I'm so happy you have been able to make the rest of your house, and back yard, a sanctuary. I haven't been able to do that.
    I love my home, don't get me wrong, but I feel we were just starting to be able to do things to it to make it more a home when I got sick(er).

    I can't put a date on when things started, in my teens...that's all I know. My father would have headaches that put him in bed for days, called them sinus headaches, so when I started getting them, that's what they called mine.
    it wasn't until much later I found out I was having migraines.

    The weather front that has been changing things so much, has really done a number on me. My head...ohhh.

    hugs to you my friend.
    thinking of you often.
    and thank you so much for understanding and supporting me.

  3. What a beautiful story (the engagement, commitment and faith - not the migraine part!)

    My journey with the Pain Monster began the first week of September 2005.

    Six years of pain is a very, very long time. I'm thankful every day for my supportive and compassionate husband. I'm thankful for you too.

  4. This is romantic! :) I love to hear stories of guys/girls who stay with their mate even after things get bad. I'm glad you found a good one. :D