I am so glad I wrote out that plan because it has helped me to strive for those things. Every day since, I have read, written in my journal, prayed and reached out to the chronic illness community. I added a book by Joni Eareckson Tada More Precious Than Silver: 366 Daily Devotional Readings that I also read from. Reading from different books has daily brought me out of my funk. I've written in my journal even on days I did not think I had anything to say and I have been surprised at the emotion that has poured itself onto the page! I have a lot going on inside that I was not acknowledging. I started contributing to MyMigraineConnection Forum again after a nine month break. I also joined another chronic illness community Chronic Babe and have already had some great discussions with women with a variety of illnesses. One thing I want to do more of is devote more time to praying. I say sentence prayers here and there, but I have not been giving it the actual time and space that I used to. As Dr. Paul Brand wrote in his book, The Gift of Pain,
Prayer helps me cope with pain by moving my mental focus away from a fixation on my body's complaints. As I pray, nourishing the life of the spirit, my tension level goes down and my consciousness of pain tends to recede.As far as my physical stamina goes, I re-started Gentle Tai Chi. I know this routine so well that I could do it in my sleep. Actually in the summer, I go outside and do it in my back yard as I find it especially relaxing with the warmth of the sun shining down on me. On Monday, I did part of the routine seated. On Tuesday, I did part of the routine standing. And yesterday and today, I completed the full routine standing! I've also managed to fold some laundry. Small things that are huge victories! I cannot wait to get on the treadmill, but before that happens I have to work on getting up and down the stairs.
At first, when I wrote the blog about my chronic illness blues, I was only going to vent and not create a plan. But as I wrote, I realized I needed a plan and writing it out helped to keep me motivated. Having a plan has given me structure and goals to get through my day, and this has actually helped my emotional health even more.